It Is Not What We Do Sometimes That Matters

Posted: April 30, 2015 in Personal Story
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I get angry.  Still to this day I will get angry and express it in an unhealthy way.  I may yell, throw things, or even slam doors.  Am I proud of these actions?  No.  Do I still do them from time to time?  Yep.  The worse part is I will from time to time do this to my children.  I love them but they can drive me crazy.  Here is the funny part even through all this they still love me.  They still get excited when I come home from work.  They will still cuddle up with daddy on the couch at night.

I think I know the reason for this.  It is not what we done sometimes that really matters.  It is our constant, regular actions that tell the story of who we are.  If I expressed my anger in this way all the time things may be different.  In fact I know they would be.  I was like that all the time at one point.  It was before we had children.  I would treat my wife in this way.

I have learned over the years to find better, healthy ways to express my anger.  I talk about why I ma angry.  I know my anger is an unmet need and I am trying to control those around me to get it met.  I am able now to see this and express this in a way to get this need met.

But when I do get angry and express it i the unhealthy ways I am able to recognize it.  As soon as I calm down I seek forgiveness.  Either from my wife or my children.  I express remorse for my action and say I will work on not allowing this to happen again in the future.  And I do actively work to not allow myself to get to that point again.   Am I perfect? Nope but I work hard and do my best.

If you do get angry (and we all do) and express it in a destructive way don’t beat yourself up for.  Recognize it and seek forgiveness.  Know that it is not this one action that defines you but the actions you take on a regular basics that make up who you are.  People (my Children are a great example) will still love you if you do slip up once in a while.

  1. gummybearawa says:

    This is very transparent and heart felt. What I’m left wondering though is have you forgiven yourself?


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